GUITARIST ZAKK WYLDE RECOUNTS OZZY OSBOURNE SAYING TO HIM “MY SCHLONG DOESN’T WORK”

ZakkWyldeprofile400 Guitarist and Black Label Society frontman Zakk Wylde was recently a guest on the Loveline radio show with hosts Dr. Drew Pinsky and Mike Catherwood. He discussed some of his favorite memories as the guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne’s band. Watch the interview highlights below.

Blabbermouth.net has transcribed a few gems from the conversation below.

Recounting a backstage incident from an Osbourne tour, Wylde said, “I remember the steam showers were going on. I’m just sitting there… Me and Ozzy were just sitting in there. That was the best, ’cause all the steam was going and everything. And these two chicks came in there. They were backstage, right?! And they just came in and they [saw] me and Ozzy sitting there. And the chicks go, ‘Oh my God! We’re sorry.’ And they just, like, ran away. And I was just cracking up, going, ‘They probably didn’t wanna interrupt our intimate time.’ And then Ozz just goes, ‘Zakk, look at me. Look at my willy. Look at the state of this.’ And I just go, ‘What?’ and he just goes, ‘Look at it! It’s a sad state of affairs.’ And Ozz goes like this, ‘You know what those girls were thinking right now.’ And I was, like, ‘What’s that, boss?’ And he just goes, ‘They took one look at this thing, and they just said, ‘Huh. I guess I’ll put it behind my ear and smoke it later.'”

Zakk also relates another conversation with Osbourne in which the singer lamented the state of his sex life. Zakk said, “Mom [Sharon Osbourne] and Barbaranne [Zakk’s wife] go out, so it’s me and the Boss [Ozzy]. And he just goes, ‘Zakk, you know, I don’t drink anymore, I don’t do drugs anymore. I don’t even smoke; I never thought I’d give that up.’ Then he goes, ‘I don’t even drink coffee anymore; I’m drinking tea. My schlong doesn’t work.’ And I go, ‘Man, that’s messed up.’ And he goes, ‘Zakk, why am I alive?'”

Wylde became Ozzy Osbourne’s guitarist in 1987 and performed with the band right up until 2009, when he was replaced by Firewind guitarist Gus G.

[Dana’s note: On that hysterical note, Happy Holidays all!]

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20 Responses

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  • Johnny D on

    So I guess he really isn’t Iron Man? Thanks for the funny article Dana! Merry Christmas!!


  • Frank Wolf on

    If I were in Ozzy’s shoes I would be angry at ZW and embarrassed by this.


    • wag daddy on

      Do you not realize that Ozzy isn’t and has NEVER been embarrassed by anything?…Have you witnessed Ozzy’s public life-the last 35 years?….geez


  • elliot goldberg on

    this is not hard journalism.


    • Dana on

      Insert rimshot here.

      D 🙂


    • elliot goldberg on

      i saw an opening and inserted….never mind.


  • James K. on

    That’s funny! Zakk is such a goofball but in a good way. Thanks for posting this Dana. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

    Cheers!
    James K.


  • bobbyd on

    i cannot believe [ Zakk ] said this to anyone in the media, what is wrong with this guy?? Ozzy said this to friend in confidence . i dont care how pissed off i was at someone i would never betray another guy like this period…. just me- also posting this is questionable to me as well…….


    • Dana on

      Oh my God, you all need to lighten up.

      I am sure Zakk, as James K. so astutely pointed out, said this in a joking manner and is just a big goofball. Having had the good fortune to have met him several times myself, I can attest to this being the case, he is hysterical.

      Also, I have heard Ozzy say many times in interviews that he uses Viagra and he has made many a joke about his sex life himself, as has his wife Sharon, on National TV.

      Finally, Loveline is show where they discuss sexual themes and adult subject matter. Ozzy has been a guest himself on the show discussing these very topics. Here are two older videos that I found:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vmg3QKU8Pzo
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBOkypjo4wA

      Had I known this type of humor would have offended all of you sensitive Susans, I would have never posted it. While you’re at it, you can all mosey over to Blabbermouth and complain there as well, because that was the original source of the story. Sheesh.

      Dana from ET.com


    • Doug R. on

      Some people seem to forget, Zakk moonlights as a comedian, and to survive working with Ozzy for 22 years, you have to have a sense of humor! Lighten up, it’s really not that BIG of a deal!
      Doug from Mars
      LOL! 😉


    • James K. on

      Hey Doug, I’m sure Ozzy would laugh at what Zakk said. Have you read Zakk’s book? If you haven’t, do yourself a favor and pick it up. The dude is a roit! I hope you had a great Christmas. Cheers bud!


    • mike molini on

      I agree Dana. How can any fan be worried about Ozzy’s rep at this stage of his life? Surely, he isn’t. And Zakk is hilarious (esp. when he’s on TMS). As far as Ozzy goes, let’s face it…when you get arrested for being drunk while peeing on the wall of the Alamo while wearing your wife’s dress…there’s not a lot left to be worried about in life. Ha!


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