Brian Hiatt of Rolling Stone reports:
After his brother [Eddie] died, Alex Van Halen fell apart. He can prove it. There’s photographic evidence right here on his phone, which also happens to be a repository of unheard, unfinished Van Halen songs. Spend the day with him, and he might play a few. But first, he’ll scroll to that image, an MRI of his spine with a gaping hole in it, a missing piece…He was awash in what he calls “oceanic grief,” an onslaught of suffering so profound it left him with a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. “I shut down,” he says. “I was yelling and screaming. I was beside myself.”
Four years later, the loss still feels fresh, “more than fresh,” Alex says on a Friday afternoon in mid-July…Alex is about to publish a book, the frank, funny memoir Brothers, tracing his life with Eddie from their childhood to the end of the original Van Halen lineup in 1984. He took on the project in search of emotional closure, which remains elusive. Today, in his first interview since Eddie’s death, he’ll reveal even more, maybe get a bit closer to turning the page. “I just miss him,” he says. “I miss the arguments. I live with it every day. And I can’t bring him back. I can’t make things right.”
Alex hasn’t been able to play drums for the past couple of years, thanks to that spinal injury, but lately, he’s been able to hit practice pads again. More important, he can walk, albeit with a slight lurching limp, which is more than he could manage for a while…He sought out an experimental stem-cell therapy from one of them, with miraculous results. “Had you seen me six months ago,” he says, “you’d go, man, I’m in sad shape.” His other plan was even more exotic. “You know DARPA, the defense arm? They have robotic stuff that you can do, exoskeletons and all that. I was looking into that — because worst comes to worst, I’ll get one of those. I’ll jump in it.” Like Iron Man? He grins. “Bingo.”
There were warning signs beforehand, but Alex’s spine finally gave way when he went to a shooting range with some friends in 2022. “The rifle kicked me on my ass,” Alex says, “and broke my back, instantly. And then I spent a year on the floor. Just staring at the ceiling. We became best friends.” As an addict in recovery, he forewent opiates, so the agony was boundless. He’s still in pain right now. “Pain is good for you,” he says. “When you’re looking at the ceiling, lots of times it can be philosophical…”
Alex Van Halen is, indeed, pretty philosophical for, well, the drummer in Van Halen, who used to bang a flaming gong with a flaming mallet onstage, who once registered 4.5 on a bar’s breathalyzer machine. (“4.0 was ‘dead,’” he notes. “I’m proud of it. Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”)…Unlike his brother, Alex was a straight-A student, at least until adolescent rebellion kicked in. (Have you seen Junior’s grades?) He immersed himself in Buddhism and other spiritual modalities early on, but also started drinking “from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep.” He had his first drink at age six. His father gave it to him.
Alex first quit drinking right after the 1986 death of his dad, Jan Van Halen, who, like his sons, was a gifted musician and an alcoholic. Eddie also made his first, instantly unsuccessful attempt at sobriety around the same time. Both brothers continued to struggle, but unlike Eddie, Alex has spent the entire 21st century sober. He found stability with his wife of 24 years, Stine, an artist and equestrian …
…There was A monent when it seemed like Van Halen, the band, might survive the death of its guitarist. Rumors of a planned post-Eddie tour, with Alex back on drums behind frontman David Lee Roth, were true. Shortly before the shooting-range incident, Alex and Roth began early rehearsals for that tour, with two musicians from the singer’s solo band serving as “seat fillers.” The idea was to eventually bring in Joe Satriani on guitar, and maybe even original bassist Michael Anthony, who hadn’t played with Van Halen since 2004, after which Alex and Eddie replaced him with Eddie’s then-teenage son, Wolfgang Van Halen. But in those early rehearsals, Alex started feeling numbness, peripheral neuropathy, especially in his feet. He wondered if it was an “omen from above,” a warning not to do the tour.
The plans ended up collapsing anyway, even before his vertebrae did. After several phone conversations with Queen’s Brian May about how that band carries on without Freddie Mercury, Alex came away with ideas about how to proceed. “The thing that broke the camel’s back, and I can be honest about this now,” Alex says, “was I said, ‘Dave, at some point, we have to have a very overt — not a bowing — but an acknowledgment of Ed in the gig. If you look at how Queen does it, they show old footage.’ And the moment I said we gotta acknowledge Ed, Dave fuckin’ popped a fuse.… The vitriol that came out was unbelievable.”
As Alex tells it, Roth simply refused to pay tribute to his brother, found the very idea offensive, for reasons he can’t comprehend. Alex was … displeased. “I’m from the street,” he says. “‘You talk to me like that, motherf-cker, I’m gonna beat your f-cking brains out. You got it?’ And I mean that. And that’s how it ended.” Alex remains baffled. “It’s just, my God. It’s like I didn’t know him anymore. I have nothing but the utmost respect for his work ethic and all that. But, Dave, you gotta work as a community, motherf-cker. It’s not you alone anymore.” (Roth declined to comment.)
Alex has few regrets about the aborted tour, which he would have been physically unable to do, anyway. “It’s too bad on one hand, but it’s fine on the other,” he says. “Because now, in retrospect, playing the old songs is not really paying tribute to anybody. That’s just like a jukebox, in my opinion.… To find a replacement for Ed? It’s just not the same.” Van Halen’s second singer, Sammy Hagar, recently went on tour with Satriani and Anthony, playing those old songs. Alex won’t even utter Hagar’s name. “The heart and the soul and the creativity and the magic was Dave, Ed, Mike, and me,” he says. He’s at least as cutting in his book: “We had a lot of other singers over the years,” he writes, in his only acknowledgment of the Van Hagar era.
To be fair, there were more singers, at least potential ones, than the world knows about. Circa 2001, while the band was between frontmen, the brothers sat down with Ozzy Osbourne’s wife and manager, Sharon Osbourne, and worked out a plan for an Ozzy-fronted Van Halen album. “When you get a dog, you don’t expect it to be a cat,” Alex says. “When you get an Ozzy, you get Ozzy. Play the music, he’ll sing, and it’s gonna be great.” Right before they were set to start work, the Osbournes took a meeting with MTV, and their reality show happened instead. (Ozzy Osbourne confirms the story in an e-mail to Rolling Stone: “Yes, we were discussing it,” he writes. “It is something that if it had come to fruition, would have been phenomenal. Eddie and Alex were great friends of mine for a very long time and it’s a regret of mine that we never got it together. The Osbournes got in the way of creating new music at that time, unfortunately.”)
Another time — Alex isn’t exactly sure when — the Van Halens jammed with Chris Cornell. At one point, Eddie stepped out for a while, and Alex found himself jamming with Cornell by himself. “Chris was in a very fragile part of his life, so to speak,” he recalls. “I got behind the drums, and he started playing bass. We played for 45 minutes. This motherf-cker got so into it he started bleeding. I said, ‘This is the man you want.’ And then he died.”
Truth is, Alex got along with David Lee Roth better than anyone else in the band ever did. After Eddie’s death, Alex’s first call was to Roth, and even after that rehearsal blowup, they’re still in touch. Roth recently fired some shots at Wolfgang, Alex’s nephew, calling him “this f-cking kid,” but Alex laughs that off. “To me, it’s a sign of respect,” he says, “that he actually thinks that Wolfie’s on the same level as the old master Dave, right? The other thing is that Wolf can easily take care of himself. It’s not a problem…”
…[Returning to the topic of his brother, Eddie], Alex sighs, and continues. “To have all that talent was probably the biggest curse he ever carried. The fact was that Ed was an incredible player, but in the end he paid for it with his health, paid for it with his life.” When people told Eddie he was the greatest guitar player alive, at least part of him believed it. “You ate it up,” Alex writes in his book, “and then you were overwhelmed with the burden of it.” A toxic mixture of (justified) near-arrogance, self-doubt, and self-loathing — a sense he was unworthy of his own genius — left Eddie with paralyzing anxiety about his playing. He used drugs and alcohol largely to dampen his insecurities, and Alex is convinced the damage that intake did to his brother ultimately helped cancer kill him…
…[Regarding himself] Alex has never been able to absorb the fact that he was a hero to other drummers. “I never had the time to do that, because I’m too busy working with Ed,” he says. “I believe in what Buddy Rich said: ‘I’m here to make the other guys sound good.’” Anyway, a drummer’s acclaim can only stretch so far on its own: “The fact of the matter is, how many drummers do you know who can fill the f-cking Rose Bowl?”
He hits “play” on an audio file on his phone, and an Eddie Van Halen riff no one’s ever heard before jumps out of the little speakers, with Alex’s drums, heavy on the hi-hat, pulsing behind it. The chugging chords of the intro could have been on their 1978 debut, while the arpeggiated verse section sounds not quite like anything the band ever did before. “Listen to what he does in between the lick,” Alex says. “There’s never a dead moment. I tried to set him up in a different kind of rhythm, if you notice.”
The song, from some time this century, “never became anything.” Alex is playing it to try to explain just what the brothers were up to in their endless, lifelong jam sessions. He also previews another track that he’ll include on the audiobook of his memoir, a winding, Zeppelin-influenced instrumental, an outtake from the final Van Halen studio sessions, for 2012’s A Different Kind of Truth. This one, for once, feels complete without vocals.
There’s tons of unreleased music in the Van Halen vaults, but very few finished songs, and even fewer with vocals. “They’re all little pieces,” he says. “A bunch of licks don’t make a song.” That said, there is a group of songs that Alex would like to find a way to release, though he warns it could take years. He’s reached out to OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, about the possibility of analyzing “the patterns of how Edward would have played something” so that they could help generate new guitar solos. And he has a singer in mind for this material. “Ideally, it’d be Robert Plant,” he says, though he hasn’t talked to the former Led Zeppelin frontman since 1993. “You’re gonna think I’m out of my f-cking mind,” Alex adds. “But when conditions are right, things will manifest.”
The other project Alex is working on, slowly, is a Van Halen biopic, for which he’s currently seeking a producer. “It’s just a long-term plan,” he says. “I mean, to put things in perspective, the Queen movie took 30 years to make…”
…[Alex] believes the ghost of Eddie Van Halen is haunting him, albeit pleasantly. “Ed’s been around a couple times,” he says, staring me down. “I can tell you that.” Just today, he felt his presence, or smelled it, really. “He was there this morning.” Alex has come to believe the brothers achieved “what we came here to do,” and he’s convinced Eddie finally figured that out, too.
“He’s fine,” Alex Van Halen says, turning his thoughts once more to the man he knew better than anyone else in this world or the next. “Wherever he is — he’s fine.”
Read the entire story at Rolling Stone.
12 Responses
Alex missed an opportunity here.
There was plenty of magic with Sam and a little with Gary. The live shows with Gary were awesome. I was a fan. Helped Alex get rich.
Yet, Alex goes to the gutter. I have an idea. Why doesn’t Alex give me a book b/c I spent some hard earned money on a sh-t reunion show in Denver back in 2004. Vowed to never see the band again and didn’t. Did catch the recent Best of All Worlds at Red Rocks and was impressed by the show.
I saw the 2004 tour and if Alex and others would have agreed to bail on the tour and thrown Ed back in the tank, it would have been the best decision possible. In 2004, I was actually watching Eddie, as a guitar player in a band, and thought, “I could have played that better than him.” Sadly, more than once. Maybe Sammy doesn’t have to write a hit piece on what dickheads you guys were, especially to Mike if the tour is abandoned.
Sammy — let him be bitter to the end.
Michael — odd how Jason Newsted was in the mix too, but they had your number.
Won’t be purchasing a copy of Brothers. I know proceeds find their way to charity, etc. Like you just found out Dave is the most narcissistic person on the planet after Ed passed? Rubbish
I saw them on their final tour with DLR, back in 2012 I think, and it was amazing! Guess you just caught them in a bad night or something, because you missed out!
I found, many of the revelations in this interview, to be very interesting.
I had never heard about Ozzy, nor Chris Cornell, ever being considered as frontmen, for the band. It’s kind of hard to wrap my head around either of those choices. It doesn’t mean it would not have worked, but I, personally cannot envision it. Nor could I ever imagine Van Halen being fronted by either Patty Smyth nor Daryl Hall.
Ironically, the same person, whom I felt would have been a great replacement for Rob Halford, when he left Judas Priest (not that anyone could ever replace the Metal God) is the same frontman I could see in Van Halen…Sebastian Bach. He’s about the only person I can think of, that would have been a decent fit, for Van Halen.
I must be missing something, didn’t Sammy say that he and Ed reconnected shortly before Ed passed and that they buried the hatchet? So if after everything they were able to do that, why is AVH still so bitter and hateful towards Hagar?
Yes, Doug,
He did say that, but Alex is not Eddie. Obviously, his feelings, and opinions of Hagar, are separate from those of Eddie. Eddie may have forgiven, but from the sounds of this interview, Alex sounds like he still harbors some animosity. What it is over? One can only venture to guess, perhaps, he is still angry over what was written in Sammy’s book?
That could be it, D, even though Sammy has said he deeply regrets and repeatedly has apologized for exposing all that dirty laundry, I guess Al isn’t as forgiving as Ed was.
Hi Doug,
This is just my take and complete conjecture.
I am not sure if Eddie wasn’t so ill, and knowing that his time on Earth was limited, he would have forgiven, Hagar, either.
While, I never read Sammy’s book, I recall reporting on some of the more controversial passages, that had been posted online, for the site. However, I don’t remember exactly what he wrote, nor why it would be problematic?
I have a feeling it might have been focused on Eddie’s rampant alcoholism, and how it affected their reunion tour, greatest hits album and created an overall toxic work environment?
If so, this was most likely viewed as an act of betrayal, possible malice, and a saucy tool, to sell books. The Van Halen’s probably felt that it was a private matter, that should been kept between band members, or at least, gotten pre-approval before being divulged?
Despite an apology, something like that, could leave a long lasting sour taste in one’s mouth, and perhaps, Alex is still tasting it?
That’s very true and makes alot of sense. Even though alot of what Hagar said was already known or suspected, it really wasn’t necessary to divulge everything that he did, no matter what his reasons or intentions were, or weren’t, not to be funny or ironic here, but to quote a one time almost member of Van Halen (Daryl Hall) “Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid!” No pun intended…
God forgives, Alex doesn’t…..
Spot on, Rattle, there comes a point in time in life when you just have to let things go and move on! Alex needs to learn by example from his brother, life is too short to hold grudges and all that animosity, it’s not healthy! Dave helped create VH, but give Hagar credit for saving VH! Everybody says and does things they regret, including Hagar, but nobody’s perfect, or completely innocent, including big Al.
I wasn’t planning on buying his book, but after reading this article, I think I changed my mind. Had no idea they were trying to get Ozzy to join. That is something I can’t even wrap my head around as to what him singing the old classics would sound like. Could have been interesting that’s for sure.
Anyways, very cool. Thanks Dana!
No thanks necessary, it’s my pleasure.